Wake Up to Stress, the Silent Killer
I had the fortune to attend a Juice Plus event on Saturday where one of the main speakers was Dr Patrick Kingsley. Dr Kingsley works with Cancer and Multiple Sclerosis patients and has a high success rate using holistic treatment, centered on nutrition.
As part of his talk he was discussing how cancer forms in the body slowly over a period of time. He related how most patients he dealt with over his long career had some kind of major distressing incident at some point in the five years prior to cancer being diagnosed.
This got me thinking about stress and negative emotions in general. You know the kind of thing I mean, worry, fear, anger, hatred, blame, despair.
How many times do we damage our health by dwelling in these negative emotions? I know that we have little or no control over our first thought or reaction to a situation. It’s usually instinctive and driven by our unconscious mind. We can however, control the second thought.
I was taught somewhere along the way to choose an empowering meaning to the situations around me. So something happens and you think “Oh no this is terrible”. That might be true, but it’s not helpful. So we have the opportunity to choose a second response. We could say to ourselves “So what’s great about this?” You will always come up with something. It’s an ill wind that blows no good is an old saying that has a lot of truth.
How many times have you been in a situation which seems awful only to realize later that it was actually a blessing? I can think of many, when I didn’t get job, when I didn’t get the guy and so on.
Stress is a silent killer, there is no doubt about that. So mastering your emotions is a great investment of your time and energy.
Give it some thought, it could just tip the balance for your health.
Love, light and plenty of laughter
Anne
Wake Up to Your Charisma
What is it that draws people to you? How is it that some people seem to have a natural ability to be “interesting” to others? Why do some people seem so confident meeting new people when others feel afraid?
I was speaking at a CIPFA event earlier this month in which I was invited to discuss: “How to be a great PA – The Art (& Science) of Charisma” and it was these questions and more that I considered when putting together my presentation.
The definition of charisma according to Wikipedia is:
- Compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others
- A divinely conferred power or talent
It goes on to discuss that the word originates “from the Greek “kharisma” meaning “gift” “of/from/favored by the God/divine” is a trait found in persons whose personalities are characterized by a personal charm and magnetism (attractiveness), along with inate and powerfully sophisticated abilities of interpersonal communication.”
Modern media describes charisma as the “X-Factor”, popularized of course by the talent show of the same name.
I suspect that some people appear to be charismatic because they have the ability to demonstrate confidence and a genuineness of character. They come from a place of authenticity and can create a real connection with people through their ability to “be there” for others. They ask questions and help people feel important and valued. They listen intently and allow everyone to be heard. They care and they can connect.
Furthermore they have a high level of self esteem. They are generally comfortable with themselves and are confident in their own abilities.
At the event I suggested that being charismatic is something that can be developed, it can be taught, so to speak. We are all born with a natural ability to connect with everyone. Just watch a very young child to see that this is true. They are naturally charismatic because they have no inhibitions, until they learn to have them that is.
We unlearn how to connect with others as we are conditioned by those who influence us. We are told by our parents and teachers to be quiet, speak only when given permission to do so, hold back until we are certain of our facts, don’t take risks, don’t speak to strangers, don’t ask for what we want as it seems greedy, sit down – shut up!
It is no wonder that so many people move into adulthood lacking confidence and feel intimidated by meeting new people. It is no surprise that many adults fear speaking in public and standing out from the crowd.
So, in fact, when I suggest that being charismatic can be taught, what I actually mean is that having charisma is something that can be created by unlearning that which we have learned to hold us back!
Charisma is indeed a gift from the divine and it is within all of us. We simply need to get out of our own way to find it again!
Wake Up to Your Charisma and get out of your own way. Try it, you might enjoy it. 
Wake Up to the Way You Do One Thing…
Commuting on the motorway provides you with an insight into the way people behave.
Have you ever been frustrated by the way other people drive? Do you get annoyed or angry when drivers behave in a way you find unacceptable.
Every day, while commuting, I see people act in “interesting ways” on the road. Some cut across to lane 3 on the motorway when lanes 1 and 2 are empty. Some sit in lane 2 doing 55-60 mph when lane 1 is clear. Others cut across me into my lane, seemingly just to stop me getting past them.
In any event, they seem to be frustrated by their eagerness to “win” their position on the road and stay in front of other drivers.
I won’t pretend that I’ve always been the “perfect” driver. Years ago I would have strived to stay in front of the others. I would have driven too fast and made sure I took “pole position” on the road.
However, I observe the “road ragers” and the “road hoggers” now and find myself simply aiming to avoid them and take the journey at my own pace. Safe and perhaps a little slow for some.
It occurs to me that this is just like life really. In the early years of our lives and careers we spend so much time wanting to be better than everyone else. We aim to position ourselves in some way elevated above others. We go for the next promotion. We work towards being in front of others. For what purpose?
It is said that the way we do one thing is the way we do everything.
So it seems to me that life is far more relaxed and easy when we are simply aiming to be better than ourselves day by day. That way there is no judgement and comparison to others. By intending to just improve oneself day by day life is a lot less stressful and we get to be more at ease. Why bother comparing ourselves to other people when what it is really important is simply looking inside and asking “how can I be better today than I was yesterday?”
On the road, I’ve taught myself to simply observe “that was interesting driving” when someone does something I consider to be an act of “winning” or at worst “stupidity”. This enables me to come from a place of calm and ultimately resourcefulness should anything go wrong. I believe I am then in a position to react carefully and safely should an incident occur that requires skill and care of me.
Does this make me better than the other drivers? No. It simply means, I suspect, that I arrive at my destination with less stress and frustration. Thus, I am probably in a space of resourcefulness rather than stress, in a state of happiness rather than anger.
So my invitation to you this week is to take some time out there [the big wide world] to ask yourself “what is my purpose in gaining this advantage?” or observe when something is simply “interesting” rather than placing judgement on what is. You may find that life is far less stressful and you reach your destination with more peace!
Wake Up to The Way You Do One Thing…
Enjoy
Wake Up to What You Stand For
Whilst researching some of my material for a new program I’m developing I came across a newsletter article I sent out some years ago. It inspired me so much again I thought I’d share it with you here…
I received an email this morning from my coach in Sydney and it literally stopped me in my tracks. It contained a story which I decided to share with you a little further below.
We talk about taking 100% responsibility for our lives. We say that the way we feel, the results we get, the responses we get from others around us, is all a choice. We discuss getting out of the blame game and creating the life we want and the goals we desire.
The story simply had me consider “what do I choose to stand for?” regardless of what I have achieved yet, or may want to achieve in the future, despite the successes I have created or the feedback I have used when outcomes have been “unexpected”.
Many people in business try and sell what they have to sell without consideration for what people actually need or want. Some businesses “go for the close” before asking their customers “what do you need?” or “how can I help you?” Occasionally businesses will force their product or service on someone and they may even buy, once.
Many businesses are so focused on their “competition” they forget to see how they can add value to their own customers. They are constantly looking for the opportunity to “beat the competition” rather than look to improve what they do for benefit of being better than they themselves are right now. Perhaps the only competition we have in business is ourselves?
But what do these businesses stand for? What do you stand for in your business, your life?
This story may help…Would you have made the same choice?
Two Choices
At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended.
After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: ‘When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?’
The audience was stilled by the query.
The father continued. ‘I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.’ Then he told the following story:
Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, ‘Do you think they’ll let me play?’
I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.
I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, ‘We’re losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we’ll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.’
Shay struggled over to the team’s bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.
In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay’s team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.
In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.
In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay’s team scored again.
Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.
At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn’t even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.
However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay’s life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.
The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.
The game would now be over.
The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.
Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.
Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman’s head, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, ‘Shay, run to first! Run to first!’
Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.
Everyone yelled, ‘Run to second, run to second!’
Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball, the smallest guy on their team, who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher’s intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman’s head.
Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home. All were screaming, ‘Shay, Shay, Shay, all the way Shay’
Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, ‘Run to third! Shay, run to third!’
As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, ‘Shay, run home! Run home!’
Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.
‘That day’, said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, ‘the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world’.
Shay didn’t make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!
And the foot note that came with this story:
We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate. The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.
If you’re thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you’re probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren’t the ‘appropriate’ ones to receive this type of message Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference. We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the ‘natural order of things.’
So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice: Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?
A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it’s least fortunate amongst them.
You now have two choices: 1. Delete 2. Forward
May your day, be a Shay Day.
I receive many stories and video clips every day, many if which will invite the reader to forward it to other people. For me, my choice is to ignore that invitation as I, like you no doubt, don’t want to add to people’s inbox just for the sake of it.
Today however, I made a choice. This choice is based simply on the question I asked at the top of this article “what do I choose to stand for?”
Imagine a business world where people made choices like the baseball team in the story. Imagine a business world where everyone truly wanted to support each other to be successful rather than just “cut each other’s throats” for the sake of the quick sale. Imagine a business world that believed in “win/win” in the true spirit of the principle so well described by Stephen Covey in his book. Imagine your business if everyone you encountered tried to help you be successful and you in turn tried to help them.
Would you prefer to go to work each day knowing that everyone you meet wants to help and support you to win, or do you prefer the cut throat competitive world of mistrust and deviousness that results in win/lose or lose/win?
So ultimately, you really do have a choice and my invitation to you this week is simply this:
Ask yourself, “What do I choose to stand for?”
I trust you do indeed have a “Shay day”
Wake Up to What You Stand For and have yourself a “Shay Day”
Wake Up to the Real Enemy is Hatred Itself
The entire week has been full of the news of the death of Osama Bin Laden. Despite my own daily intention of avoiding the mainstream news, which is full of negativity, I have been less than successful in achieving this aim over the last few days. Every public place I have visited seems to have had a news channel showing more discussion on the subject or a newspaper with pictures and headlines on the issue.
The sad thing is the apparent joy over the death of another human being. Never before have I witnessed so many people being happy in the news that someone has been killed.
I don’t condone the events of 9th September 2001 or the subsequent, or indeed preceding acts of violence around the world in the name of al-Qaeda, or any “terrorist” organization. However, I have to question the validity of killing someone else in the name of revenge. How can one act of violence be justified when another is seen to be an atrocity? Does it not amount to the same thing?
This hatred of others because they are on “the other side of the fence” has been the source of so much despair, sadness and pointless loss of life in so many places around the world in all history. Yet, we never see a real resolution to it all. As time moves on, the enemy just becomes a different face, from a different part of the world, and all because we are told that now is the time to hate another specific individual or another sector of our global community.
In recent history alone, I think of conflicts such as the wars in Korea and Vietnam, the conflicts of Northern Ireland and the Falklands, the Gulf war, Bosnia, Afghanistan and of course, the “war on terrorism”. When and where will it all end?
Who’s to say that we are right and they are wrong? And who is “we” anyway?
The real enemy is hatred itself.
When we strive to hurt someone else because of our own beliefs we simply create more negativity in our own lives. The hurt we want to inflict, whether it be physical or emotional pain, can never release us from the stress and anxiety of the process of wanting to inflict that pain in the first place. Have you ever actually felt any better because you created hurt for someone else?
Hatred eats us up. It consumes our energy and creates cynicism and sadness. There can never be any good that comes from hurting others.
Imagine a world where people just accepted everyone else for being who they are. A world in which we respect other opinions and beliefs as simply being ok. A world where there are no borders and constrictions on travel. A world where we simply help each other for no other reason than we just can.
Does it really make any difference whether we call our spiritual connection God, Allah, Vishnu, Jehovah, Buddha, Ahura Mazda, Izanagi & Izanami, Lao-Tse or any of the many many other “gods” or “teachers” of religion? Does it really make any difference whether the borders to one country are here and another there? We don’t own this planet of ours, we simply reside here for the time being, so we have no real right to any of it anyway.
There are very few certainties in life. We come into this world with nothing and we will leave it with nothing, except the legacy of what difference we made to the lives we touch. Doesn’t it make more sense to leave hatred behind and be a global community of people who support, inspire and help each other in a positive way?
I invite you to Wake Up to the Real Enemy is Hatred Itself. Make a commitment to help and support someone this week just because you can and with no other intention than to make someone else feel good.
Enjoy.
Wake Up To Your Authentic Self
“You can be open and honest without being authentic, but you can’t be authentic without being open and honest” – It makes sense therefore to just “show up” doesn’t it?
Authentic:
Having a claimed and verifiable origin or authorship; not counterfeit or copied
Honest:
Marked by or displaying integrity; upright
Open:
Accessible to all
These are just some of the definitions available for these three very powerful words.
I posted the statement at the opening of this blog post on Facebook a couple of days ago and a friend “had to ask”….”how can you be honest without being authentic?”
Before responding to her question I have been considering what exactly did I mean. Truthfully I was inspired by something a friend said to me just the other day and the original post was me paraphrasing what he had said.
To answer the question though “how can you be honest without being authentic?”, I will do my best…
The point being made to me, which had me consider this was that we can be “open and honest” with the very best of intentions, to everyone we encounter, yet does this truly come from a place of authenticity?
If being authentic is coming from a “verifiable origin” or “not counterfeit or copied” it suggests that we, as human beings need to “show up” as our true self, coming from that place within us that is absolutely pure and true, warts and all. It takes courage to “be”, without facade, just as we really are, with all our hopes and fears on show to the world.
Just the other day I was having a similar conversation with a client and we were discussing all the “roles” we play in life. At one moment we play the role of husband, wife, daughter, son, parent, grandparent and so on. The next we take on the role of boss, supervisor, business person, company owner. Sometimes we are supporter, other times, director. Occasionally competitor, then partner. And so on.
In all of these roles we take on the characteristics of them, according to our beliefs and experiences of what that role means. We may well approach it honestly and with openness. We can be totally genuine in our intention and display of honesty. Everything we do or say, when playing a particular role, could be coming from that place of being honest, being open.
However, does this actually mean we are being our authentic self? Surely, if you take the definition above, when we are being truly authentic we are not “copying” any role we believe we should play. We are simply just “being”.
It’s a fascinating debate and I would welcome your thoughts.
In the meantime, Wake Up To Your Authentic Self. Whatever that means for you.
Have a wonderful day.
Wake Up to the Good In People
I was inspired the honesty of a stranger over the weekend.
Having enjoyed a wonderful dinner with a couple of friends in a fabulous restaurant in Manchester – Cafe Istanbul (go try it when you’re in the Deansgate area next time), we popped into the Sainsbury’s Local up the street for Iain to buy toiletries (it’s fair to say he could have used a shave ).
Great food, great company!
Iain needs help choosing his shaving foam!
A very pleasant young lady was at the check-out till and the three of exchanged some banter with her and the till operator as she made her purchases along-side us. As I left the store I became aware of her checking her change and rushing back in.
I assumed she had been short-changed and went back to claim the remainder.
Iain joined Andrew and I outside and explained that the young lady had gone back to the till operator and given a £10 note back to him. She said she didn’t want him to get into trouble with the boss on his first day by being short in the till!
It’s so refreshing to know that people can be so genuinely honest and care about others. It did raise for me a question about my assumptions as well. My first thought being that she had been short changed, which of course does happen occasionally, rather than she would be returning to give back that which was not hers.
And, coincidentally (yeah right!), my reading this morning of Wayne Dyer’s “Change Your Thoughts Change Your Life – Living The Wisdom Of The Tao” (I read a chapter every day), was of “Living By Your Inner Light” in which he says:
“The “knower of the truth” lives by an inner light…. stealing isn’t the way of the truth, so it’s unnecessary to lock anything up…”
He goes on to say:
“If you encounter an easy opportunity to cheat, perhaps because you’ve been handed too much change by a cashier, make the decision to be down-to-the-penny honest”
This young lady inspires us all to be “down-to-the-penny honest” and I wonder…how has she been inspired?
As a society we have much to learn about honesty and deceit. As individuals of course, we can all take responsibility for our own behaviour, our own thoughts and what influences us. For me, removing negative input of crime and distress by not watching mainstream news is a starting point. Not buying into the idea that everyone is basically dishonest is also very liberating.
When I take notice of my thoughts and my assumptions, and I practice improving this as best I can, it feels good to look at a situation, conversation or interaction with a view of seeing the best in people, rather than assuming the worst.
I am grateful for the young lady in the store who provided such inspiration and confirmation that people are basically good and we can have a truly caring world if we choose to see everyone in this way.
Wake Up to the Good In People and put a smile on your face today. 
Enjoy!
Wake Up and Avoid the Holes in the Road!
Hi Guys,
Today’s post was inspired by Paul McCoubrey and thanks to him for that.
Wayne Dyer tells a story on one of his audio tape programmes which really hit me the first time I heard it….It goes like this.
A woman was asked at the end of a personal development seminar to write her life story, in five chapters, on a three by five-card. She hadn’t much room and here is what she wrote
Chapter 1.
I was walking down the road. There was a great big hole in it. I didn’t see it and fell in. It wasn’t my fault. It took forever to get out.
Chapter 2.
I was walking down the road . There was a great big hole in it. I pretended not to see it and fell in. It wasn’t my fault. It took a long time to get out.
Chapter 3.
I was walking down the road. There was a great big hole in it. I saw it…and fell into it anyway! This place was familiar. I had been here before. I realized it was my fault and got out as quickly as possible.
Chapter 4.
I was walking down the road. There was a great big hole in it. I walked around the hole.
Chapter 5.
I walked down a new road…..
What are your immediate thoughts on this story?
Mine?…… I thought ” My Goodness. That woman was a really quick learner. She was only in that hole 3 times!”
Me? I have been in that hole many, many times. I saw it and fell in anyway.
To me, that hole story described perfectly my relationship history up to three years ago. In and out of the holes I would not only fall, but JUMP.
I think all of us have these holes in the road. Those things that we keep on doing, time and time again although we know they just are not good for us.
Where does my hole story end?
Well actually, that is one of the great mysteries and beauties of life. The last hole I jumped into lasted 5 years, on and off. And at the end I was pushed back out of the hole when he found someone else he was happy with. (On Christmas Eve of all days)
And it was one of the greatest gifts of my life. That event , and all the events which led up to it, started me down the personal development journey in earnest. And what a journey it has been! I have had some of the best experiences I have ever had in the last three years. I have met some amazing people, traveled to some gorgeous places and I have found a peace of mind which I wouldn’t trade for the world.
Sometimes the universe tickles you with a feather. If that doesn’t work, it throws a brick at your head. And if you don’t pay attention to that….. a boulder usually follows. The universe is very helpful that way. If you mess it up, you will always get a chance to repeat your mistake or learn from it and move on to something much better.
So where are your holes in the road? How many times are you going to jump in before you decide to walk down a different road.
Let’s raise a toast to the holes….they are in fact noble friends in disguise sent to teach us something important along the way.
Someday I would like to write a book and I think I will call it. “Stop Jumping into the F**king Holes” ……..but before then I have a few more holes of a different nature to contend with.
Wishing you many new, exciting and beautiful roads to walk down
Love and light
Anne
Wake Up to What You Focus On You Create
In much of the material I have studied and continue to study (addicted to lifelong learning), people talk about the law of attraction, what you focus on you create, the power of intention and so on.
I subscribe to the fact that whatever you call it, when you focus on creating what you want in your life, you will attract more of it, consciously and more importantly, sub-consciously. So, you’ve heard me, or read stuff from me, that I don’t see much point in being negative. It’s far easier to aim to stay positive and increase your energy levels by doing so, than get drawn into the “life is bitch” conversation.
I don’t pretend it’s always simple and I’ve got it all handled in life. Far from it. We have the same challenges and issues as anyone else. However, I do appreciate my ability to respond positively to what comes up in my life and bounce back relatively quickly (see previous article Wake Up to your Bouncebackability). Studying tools, techniques, processes and inspirational material helps to give me a “kit bag” full of resources to that extent.
I was delighted to attend the NSA Juice Plus European Convention ten days ago in Munich. The weekend was full of inspirational speakers and stories of people who had great life changing experiences in terms of their health. During one speaker’s presentation I got thinking about an old friend and his wife, from Austria, who work with children and teachers and figured they needed to know about some of this stuff. I could see the opportunity for them to make a difference to children’s health in a big way in their country.
Later, having been distracted by the rest of the day and not therefore given it much thought since, we were sat in a restaurant enjoying fabulous Bavarian food. Our group organiser asked us all in turn what we would do with the information we had learned over the weekend and what specific intentions we now had. I said that one thing I intended doing is contacting my friend again. We hadn’t seen each other for over two years!
After dinner, we headed back to the convention centre for the gala celebration. Over 5000 people in a room full of long benches and tables, in true “Bierfest” style. It was standing room only and as our group settled into a convenient space at the end of one of the tables, I look over at the next table to see my friend Martin! I had to do a double-take. Not 60 minutes earlier I had been talking about him and just a few hours previously I had been thinking about his wife.
Just to clarify the point – Martin lives in Austria, we were in Munich having travelled from Belfast, and we were in a room full of five thousand people! Furthermore, Martin was only staying for an hour. He was a guest and had “just popped in” – he wasn’t even a convention delegate!
You may call this pure coincidence. You may call it law of attraction. You may call it spooky! For me, it is simply yet another example that demonstrates that we create our own reality based on what we focus on. Of that I am certain.
I’ve heard and seen too many examples of how people can deliberately create what they want to see in life. Taking a positive attitude to life is my experience of how this is true for me every day. Resolving some of the internal conflicts continues to be important, and always will be – the conflict between what we consciously and unconsciously look for in life. But when we harness this power it can truly help us take more responsibility for our own results and ultimately lead happier and healthier lives.
Wake Up to What We Focus On We Create and see how it changes your life!
Wake Up and Think Small
How often have you set a massive goal for yourself, dreamed really big, and the thought of it has become so overwhelming that you do nothing to move towards achieving it? Perhaps you’ve attended a seminar or worked with a trainer or coach and in the moment you’ve got really excited about what would truly transform your life. You may have visualized what reaching that goal would have looked like. You might have written it down, very specifically, in great detail and with time limits surrounding it. You could have drawn a picture, created a vision board, written affirmations and so on. You get absolute clarity and you’re excited by the prospect.
Then, when you’ve gone back into the “real world” life takes over and nothing gets done. The daily activity of living life just as it was before the goal setting process kicks in. Family, work colleagues, customers and staff demand your time and your attention. Before you know it, a year has gone past and you realized you hadn’t moved any closer to that dream. In fact, you realize that you have moved into paralysis around your goals. You are totally overwhelmed by it all.
You’ve achieved paralysis by clarity!
If this is your experience, then I want to reassure you that you are not alone. It’s perfectly normal, and you’re perfectly normal. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure and it doesn’t mean that you can’t still achieve what you dream about.
I know this to be true because I’ve also been there, got the t-shirt and attended that seminar…along with many many others. And time and time again I’ve got just that sort of clarity and sometime soon after getting it, paralysis set in. Doubts begin to arise. Uncertainty about whether it is even possible. Perhaps you’ve had similar experiences?
So what does it all mean? Well nothing really. I believe it is simply an indication that we are not ready to get what we say we want. We have more learning to get, more skills to acquire, more understanding to gain and we are in fact always on a journey towards realising our potential and achieving or attaining all that we need to live the way we would like. We’re just not in a place emotionally or physically to do the things that need to be done to get to where we want to be.
So that’s all well and good you might say, but how do you get everything that you want? How do you avoid this “paralysis by clarity”?
Think SMALL!
That’s right. It may sound contrary to much that we’ve learned. People talk about expanding our possibilities, thinking BIG. We can achieve anything. What is conceivable is achievable. If someone else has done it, you can do it too. If someone else has shown the way, ask them how and you can replicate or innovate. Where the path has been laid, just walk the same path.
All of this is also true of course and where we fall over, stumble or simply stop, is that we aim so high we think we’ve got to get it all done, right here and right now. We are so attached to our dream that we miss the bigger picture. Thinking SMALL will help to see the bigger picture with even more clarity.
To put in another way; it’s ok to think big and create the breakthrough goals, the BHAGs (big hairy audacious goals) and the life changing dreams. The art of achieving them is to create them and then simply break them down into bite size chunks and enjoy the process of doing the SMALL things consistently to achieve the big things in the end.
The most important part of all though, is to enjoy the process. If we are so attached to our goals that we just beat ourselves up because we haven’t yet got them, then we don’t get to enjoy the journey towards achieving them. On the other hand, when we celebrate every step we make towards them, when we break them down into bit size chunks and see ourselves achieving small results every day, the whole process is fun and exciting.
So, my invitation to you is to join me in breaking down your big goals into small steps and taking one step at a time. Think SMALL and you may just achieve everything you want to in a much shorter space of time that you could have imagined.
Wake Up and Think SMALL!
Enjoy.
